Monday, April 28, 2008

Thoughts on Communication:

I'm sure we have all been there at some point; where someone near or dear (and you really care about) listens, but has no clue what you are saying. I know I have been there many many times. Maybe it's because they don't want to understand, or maybe they are just too lazy to try to understand, or maybe they are the selfish type who only view their own agenda, and is so tunnel visioned that they believe their way is the only way, and no other logic or explanation makes sense or matters to them....only you can see the reasons when it happens to you. Love and other personal relationships are not supposed to be so selfish that only one person's life or feelings matter. Both should matter. If you really honestly love someone, then their feelings, their point of view, and everything about them should matter to you. That's all part of knowing and truly loving that person. Love is not selfish. Love is unconditional. You accept your partner, respect them - (their feelings and their thoughts) for who and what they are.
Note the following relationship helpers paraphrased from some online sources:

- " Most people really do listen but they don't understand. The reason they don't understand is that many people listen from their own agenda. You have to listen with the intention of understanding the other person. Unless you listen to other people with the intention to connect and to understand, there will always be distance and conflict".

- Communicating well at work does NOT equate to being a good communicator in a relationship. These are two very different things. At work it's communicating to get a job done, or sell something. Communicating with the intention to influence or communicating with the intention to be efficient or effective may lead to more sales and higher productivity in the workplace. But, if you try to use either of those two strategies in a relationship that you want to be close and connected, you'll quickly find out how easy it is to destroy it in almost no time at all. A close connected relationship with another person isn't created by efficiency or influence. It's created by connection, love, balance, harmony and partnership"

Here's to Happy, Healthy, Successful Relationships for everyone!

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